View of the outside world from inside a fishbowl

March 20, 2011

Isn’t it ironic. Don’t you think?

Filed under: Have a nice Day,insights,moody blues,philosophy,rants — coolantz @ 8:16 pm
Tags: , , ,

I’m running through a set of emotions that seem contradictory. Yet, I can safely assert that I feel each one of them. Here, in hyderabad (or should we say Malaysian Township), holi had come a day earlier. I had a good time, and went out for a bit.

Now, its late evening, and as I was about to eat, I saw a friend’s (Yes, we had built a badminton court with bare hands) recently put up photos on face book. It was electrifying to see, because he’s my next to next door neighbour, so the faces on those pictures were familiar, H block DLF City, really upped the tempo this time, there was a Dhol walla, and lot’s of people I do not know as well. The feeling also left me feeling hollow, as I’ve played Holi with those people, for as many years as my memories take me to.

Amongst the other photos was also one, which somewhat stood out as far as I am concerned. He had clicked a photo inside my home. My dad was in the frame, though I wonder where mom was? I swear, the hair on the arms stood up. Goosebumps 🙂 . Later that photo made me cringe :(. I miss H block. I miss parents, I miss home, I miss relatives, I miss friends.

Holi is a real pleasure, when it’s celebrated with family and friends. To all my friends (at home or away, A very happy holi to you).

And the real kicker is, when I was with them/at home, I took it all for granted. Now that I can’t have them, I appreciate their value.

Miss you seriously.

 

January 1, 2011

Man Proposes …..

Sometimes, it seems that the ones who coined clichés must have had the foresight of a fiendishly clever being, yet in possession of angel like wisdom.

Often at the moment such pearls strike you in a way, that might leave you with a taste bittersweet,  and you wonder if it’s your conscience projected across time. Tonight, as I think about the year that has whizzed past me, I wonder as to what I am ? (Yea … I do hear the sound it makes akin to a rushing deadline)

I’m shrouded by so many questions, and uncertainties, yet I feel that I know myself better. It was just the same, the last year, and the year before that. Looking back, it never ceases to amaze me and somehow, every year out trumps the year before that.

We all make plans for our lives.

What do you decide ? and how it’ll happen? hah. All you can do is show intent. The outcome of anything you try to do depends on such a huge number of factors, that if I try to include everything in an equation and try to understand its probability of happening, I’m sure the thing blows out of the confines of mathematics, and pretty well enters the realm of some magic type subject.

I suppose you must have, at some point claimed … “Eureka. This his what I plan”, and “such and such are those steps which I must take to attain  that goal“.

Now if you zoom back up from the picture and re-consider what you consider as defining moments. How many, are results of your neat and well thought plan, followed by action sequences.

I’m not saying that life is totally random and out of control happenings. But it certainly is something that happens while we’re busy making plans.

Sure, same as always, this year I have:

  • Met incredible people
  • Worked on incredible projects.
  • Realized something I am, and something I can never be.
  • Have exclaimed “Well, now I’ve seen everything!

Yet, when I try to see the larger picture, to say if things have gone according to the plan, this revelation dawns:

Man Proposes and God Disposes is incomplete. It is more like Man Proposes, God analyzes, raises one eyebrow, (do you smell, what the God is cooking) makes some random sequence and hands it off to you! You oblige with gratitude.

Really, if I were to look back, and see if things have gone according to plan, I can only wonder “How the hell did I manage to get here”.

It is surprisingly good. Like a breath of fresh air. I claim to have grown :). There are things I can do, and there are things I can’t.  All I can say is … Do make plans. Show Intent ! (It makes you animate), but also accept that it might not turn out exactly as you dream of it.

Wacky happenings (some to tune, some out of it) is what is called Life.

January 13, 2010

Time to retire an old boy.

Filed under: GNU/linux,moody blues,music,philosophy — coolantz @ 4:02 pm

11’th January, 2010.

It was a dark day. I had never imagined for a slightest of moment, that I’d be attached so much to a “non-living entity”, the way I did. Well, for all practical purposes, a computer is just a electronic instrument, to repetitively do the most boring of things, while you(it’s master), would either be getting entertained, solving your professional problems, or communicating with your friends.

My PC, an old warhorse, skipped a beat, went down, and has never come back. But when I think about it, it does seem more than just a device. I even had a name for it, “tiger”.

The times and means by which I got to acquire tiger, are also seemingly not ordinary.

It was a non functional PC I had bought from a college classmate, he was looking to get rid of it, and sold it to me at like throwaway price.He was happy, so was I. When I came home from college, dad was looking to close office, and so naturally keen on scavenging whatever I could lay my hands on. There I saw 2 of the most beautiful looking CPU cabinets. They were minimalistic (unlike the ornate box, I had purchased).

So I took one of those boxes, and removed it’s low form celeron processor, and threw in RAM, and a P4, and additional hard disk from the one I had bought in college, and up came the rig : called tiger. It was satisfying from the very beginning. Customized with switches, locks at many levels. I took pride in having that PC.

But seriously, I was not aware of how many roles it was going to play in my life. The first OS I had installed on to it, was Fedora 8. Wasn’t too satisfied, and wanting to know the guts of my PC, I put gentoo on it. That lasted for a good 2 years, and one of the many artifacts of me doing this, that installation span to many places. I learnt a lot about linux by tinkering things on gentoo. Now, in fact, I cloned the root partition, tweaked some settings, and presto .. I had a USB Hard Disk, which I could connect on any PC, and have it like my Portable machine. Sort of like a laptop for the poor.

People say that PCs do not age gracefully, and the signs of age do not look nice on them (yea, there’s a better version in the market, from the day you pick one up). But this kid was like like old wine. The older it got, the better it became.

Those were the days, I made some LIRC hardware for tiger, added a creative audigy, with 5.1 speakers, tried to install mythtv onto it, put freaky levels of automation for things, added a TV capture card. When I got a laptop, for my other typical computer related tasks, tiger lost it’s keyboard, mouse, and was only operable with a remote control. Along the way, it also got a 22 inch LCD screen, and soon, a 32 inch screen. It was not just a media center that people used to go gaga over, It also did the following things, and in great style, I tell you:

  1. It used to automatically download new torrents via RSS feeds.
  2. Host my music collection, serve it via DAAP, for apple products, and via uPnP for Microsoft based devices at home.
  3. Host my Projects, and code, and what not.
  4. Store and share videos and photos.
  5. Record shows from TV, and provide  me the watch and pause functionality on TV.
  6. Play FM radio for me.
  7. Stream music from the net. That’s also how i discovered last.fm

to tiger:

“you may have passed on, but your legacy and soul will continue to flourish, and scale newer heights, you rest in peace”

January 11, 2010

Shortage of time … busting a myth.

Filed under: Have a nice Day,moody blues — coolantz @ 5:38 pm

I have come across yet another peculiarity in people’s behavior. 🙂

If/When someone says he/she does not have the time to do something (say, for example, learning to pursue a hobby they emphatically claim to be bonkers over), it’s probably because they’re not too keen.

Please do not take the aforementioned statement literally. It’s by no means to suggest, that people lie :

  • If they say they need so much time to accomplish a certain task, in a stipulated time . Pretty much arguable.
  • A one of case, when they say, something like “today’s meet up is not possible. I’m really pressed for time”.

I guess (or hope, rather) you get the idea.

Now, consider someone, who says he/she cannot start to play Guitar. Or for that matter, start to play tennis. Then you can interpret the statement differently. They are probably  not too hung on the idea.

Or consider this, if a “friend” says, on repeated occasions, that they would love to catch up, but never make it, get it straight up … “he/she finds you boring”. Take a hike. It’s probably best for both of you.

December 24, 2009

A winter’s day .

Filed under: moody blues — coolantz @ 7:07 pm

The air is chilly
The sun sets a bit too soon
But here’s a frolic all around
and I hear a merry tune.

Gifts are packed, destinations booked
Leaves been taken, and delicacies cooked.
How I wish I could fly away
but I will not go as I am hooked.

and I look upwards, I have no fear
There is much joy, someone so dear.
Season’s greetings people !! Far or near.
Merry Christmas to you and a happy new year

December 25, 2008

how does it feel?

Filed under: moody blues,philosophy — coolantz @ 12:05 am

I thought I knew it all. I am a simple guy, easy to be with ….. am I?

People can be judged, by their actions, and their words ….. can they?

Time flows, has been flowing, and will continue to flow ….. does it?

People appreciate blunt honesty ….. do they?

Life does not give you a second chance ….. (it does) … what about third ?

Many people can talk the talk. How many can walk the walk?

Everything happens for a reason, or does it?

“I haven’t gotten it figured out just yet” – Thanks Alanis. You make most sense now.

Blog at WordPress.com.