View of the outside world from inside a fishbowl

January 11, 2011

The webs we weave.

Filed under: Have a nice Day,momentary lapse of reason — coolantz @ 1:57 am

It’s one of those days. I find it extremely difficult to sleep. My mind’s distracted and confused. I think about the new year, and in the year gone by ….

 

I’m definitely not hungry, or too full.

I’m not sad, nor elated, neither angry, but amused

I do not have any idea, nor am I stuck.

The music plays in background, as rhymes get struck

 

Of things that I yearn of, I don’t have a track!

I feel that I have gone, or am I back?

If I had a wish, granted to come true

will I go back in time, or will I get a clue?

 

I’ve spoken my heart out, yet I have much more to say,

The child’s smile, and his naughty ways

His unfaltering focus, his wavering mind

gives me hope, makes the world seem kind.

 

I feel vulnerable, but pretend to be secure!

I laugh at myself, when I thought I was sure.

I’m a boy, I am a man

I think, therefore … I am.

 

Dedicated to all people, who have written in the past, and for some reason, now (work, mostly) are too busy to share the joy I (and I’m sure others) experience when I read their blogs. People, who haven’t blogged from over a month. Miss you.

January 1, 2011

Man Proposes …..

Sometimes, it seems that the ones who coined clichés must have had the foresight of a fiendishly clever being, yet in possession of angel like wisdom.

Often at the moment such pearls strike you in a way, that might leave you with a taste bittersweet,  and you wonder if it’s your conscience projected across time. Tonight, as I think about the year that has whizzed past me, I wonder as to what I am ? (Yea … I do hear the sound it makes akin to a rushing deadline)

I’m shrouded by so many questions, and uncertainties, yet I feel that I know myself better. It was just the same, the last year, and the year before that. Looking back, it never ceases to amaze me and somehow, every year out trumps the year before that.

We all make plans for our lives.

What do you decide ? and how it’ll happen? hah. All you can do is show intent. The outcome of anything you try to do depends on such a huge number of factors, that if I try to include everything in an equation and try to understand its probability of happening, I’m sure the thing blows out of the confines of mathematics, and pretty well enters the realm of some magic type subject.

I suppose you must have, at some point claimed … “Eureka. This his what I plan”, and “such and such are those steps which I must take to attain  that goal“.

Now if you zoom back up from the picture and re-consider what you consider as defining moments. How many, are results of your neat and well thought plan, followed by action sequences.

I’m not saying that life is totally random and out of control happenings. But it certainly is something that happens while we’re busy making plans.

Sure, same as always, this year I have:

  • Met incredible people
  • Worked on incredible projects.
  • Realized something I am, and something I can never be.
  • Have exclaimed “Well, now I’ve seen everything!

Yet, when I try to see the larger picture, to say if things have gone according to the plan, this revelation dawns:

Man Proposes and God Disposes is incomplete. It is more like Man Proposes, God analyzes, raises one eyebrow, (do you smell, what the God is cooking) makes some random sequence and hands it off to you! You oblige with gratitude.

Really, if I were to look back, and see if things have gone according to plan, I can only wonder “How the hell did I manage to get here”.

It is surprisingly good. Like a breath of fresh air. I claim to have grown :). There are things I can do, and there are things I can’t.  All I can say is … Do make plans. Show Intent ! (It makes you animate), but also accept that it might not turn out exactly as you dream of it.

Wacky happenings (some to tune, some out of it) is what is called Life.

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