View of the outside world from inside a fishbowl

March 6, 2010

You can cook, but should you …

Filed under: humor — coolantz @ 2:03 pm
Tags: , , ,

I consider myself a rather decent cook. So much so, that I can try out new things, and don’t mind coming up with innovative fillers when the situation demands.

Novice would be a good word to describe me, definitely not in the league of chefs such as my dad,  and those professional people.

Anyways, so for I party I  hosted on my birthday, I pitched in with my idea of “pineapple raita” . For people unfamiliar with the dish, a riata is an indian dish, made by mixing a variety of things (which range from fried crunchies, diced up vegetables to exotic fruits), and is consumed along with something in the main course, which otherwise might be dry.

So there was this unused pineapple lying in my kitchen, which I thought I’d put to good use, and so I was inspired to dish out the pineapple raita.

There were certain hindrances to what seems like a trivial thing to do, but I was a man with resolve.

One of these days, I'm gonna cut you into little pieces.

Pineapple

I could not cut a pineapple on my own.

I really does not occur to you until you actually get to doing it, but seriously how does one cut a pineapple. It is such a thing with hard and scaly exterior. My knives simply gave up, and even if I forced cut the fruit, I would have wasted a lot of that juicy part. (A pineapple is like hard from the outside, with sort of cylindrical shell which is sweet, and an interior which is more sour than that shell part).

There was no taker for the job.

So, I decided I’ll get the pineapple cut from a professional fruit seller. I was wrong in assuming that just any fruit seller would slice it up for me. For those unaware, the ones who sell pineapple, only sell pineapple. Like fruit specialists. So, I had to find a pineapple seller in gurgaon. Another task.

The pineapple I had, turned out bad.

Luckily, (oh really) I managed to find one, while roaming in a sabzi mandi. But when the guy did get to chopping off my pineapple, it was bad from inside.Like really rotten or something. He showed it to me, and I told him to discard the piece. By now, I was convinced that maybe some unseen force is trying to stop me from having the raita made. But I did not lose any determination. I told the guy to cut up a new pineapple from his stock, and give it to me. I specifically asked him to give a sweet one.

The Raita was a complete disaster.

Towards the end of my party, I decided to sample the raita myself. Unfortunately,  I had already bragged about it before tasting it myself. So the foot in the mouth situation was already imminent. :). I tried it, and I must say it was the worst tasting raita I’ve had in my life. I mean a curd gone sour, because of the over activity of   lactobacillus bacteria probably tastes better.

I’ll analyze the reasons that might have affected my raita in another post. Needless to say, a thorough investigation would be initiated. Results shall be published on a later date in a separate post.

To the people who had to eat it (out of good manners, I’m sure) … Sorry for the bad taste. I’ll make it up to you.

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